story

Krishna

June 4, 2022

FATHERS DAY 2021. So what is being a dad to me? It’s a source of great joy.. these tiny little people are my best friends now. If I’m tired, I can share my tiredness with them. If I’m happy, I share my happiness with them. So it’s a sense of joy. On the other hand, being a dad is a big burden of responsibility, if I never have them probably I’ll be rather free. I could choose my own life and lifestyle. Now I completely changed my lifestyle and then listen to them. So it is both ways I get joy of life as well as get responsibility.
A DAY OUT. This is me and my daughter on a hilltop in the evening of early summer last year during an outing. I took the kids to this place at sunset and captured the moment on camera. In a family relationship, we look forward to beautiful bright days even at a time with darkening evenings.
EARLY SPRING HIKING 2021. If you can’t give your kids what they want today, tomorrow, you won’t have time to give them anything. The things that they want now will be meaningless to them tomorrow. So yeah, so what I do, how I have been changing my perspective is, well, if I cannot do anything for them today, and tomorrow, I have no right to claim that these are my kids and they have to do something for me.

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Badri

May 17, 2022

Being a father means just transferring the genes to another generation. It also means transferring my value, belief, culture, and relationship style. It means being a person of nurturing to the kids, and how I understand them and treat them.
BEING A DAD CHANGED ME. After the birth of my older daughter, I learned the value of a father, healthy relationship, and overall wellbeing of my kids Before the birth of my two kids, I found myself as a person without having a destination. Now I changed and I aim to be a good dad. I changed my  patriarchal societal norms (e.g., raising their kids and rearing kids is female responsibility).
MY VALUES. I want to raise my kids as per my cultural and religious values, but the individualist society might be the challenge to bring and practice my values.

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Deepak

May 17, 2022

I’m a father, a son, and born and brought up in India with ancestral connections in Nepal. I lived in Nepal, came to Canada in 2010. So still carrying the fire of fathers and forefathers.

FROM ORDINARY TO UNIQUE. Being a dad means something different, something unique… an ordinary common man, went to be a dad with a new kind of identity. So that was a really unique dimension of life.. I’m an advisor, I am a friend, I’m a guide and inspiration, motivation, so many things for my son.

I’M A FATHER, NOT ONLY A MAN. But here, life versus living, that was another portion of new perspective. I need to always pay attention on being a father, or being a man. And the status in the society and other contexts, in the profession and occupational life, the status change in my identity card, whenever I go and fill out the form there I need to write, FATHER not only a man.

FATHERHOOD IN A GLOBAL SOCIETY. There was a big challenge for me to adjust the value system: how to speak, how to use the goods, and how to use the value systems in the family. For example, we were grown in a collective set of life… and little bit family hierarchy… father was more prominent. But here we need to practice more liberal notions… it was a challenge for me to create a balance.

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Eric

May 17, 2022

My name is Eric. I came here to Calgary in 2014 to start a new life and with that I was able to find my wife here and got married. So I’m a new dad. My daughter turned two this year and I started pretty late in life building my family. I am blessed to be in this country and this is a paradise for me and my family.

IDENTITY. So what does being a father mean to me? It means to me like this photo, she is in a lake, which can be very scary for a young person. It is really teaching our children to be able to not just survive but to thrive in this scary world that we live in today and at the same time as you can see in the photo she is… her reflection is reflected there. So it is also our responsibility as a father to teach them their identity and who she is as a person and who she is in our side as our daughter.
THE VALUE OF HARDWORK. What helped and challenged me in being a dad is as you see here, we are gardening and my daughter is right there. I don’t know if you can see her she’s lying down by the stairs. I think the pain or the hard work that I’ve experienced in the past has challenged me and helped me to be a dad in the same way that we will also be teaching our daughter,  the value of hard work, the value of pain or challenges in life.

LETTING GO. Being a dad means we let go of our children. As they grow up, they’ll be more and more independent and there will come a time that you know, probably in Canada by the time they’re 18 or 21. They’ll either be on their own. So we only have like, let’s say 17, 20 years of influence with our children and it’s just preparing to let them go.
NOT JUST A PROVIDER. Does being a father change your view as a man? Definitely. I think it did not change but actually it gave more meaning to me as a man being a father, and that is to be able to take care of not just my daughter but also my wife and to be able to provide for them.

So it’s not just only being a provider, taking care of them, but making sure that we are living a happy life and at the same time having good relationships both with my wife and my daughter.
FAITH. So what in your life past present or future help you or challenge you in being a dad?
In this photo, if you can see. It says that I like to go to church or yeah. So I think faith helped me, and is helping me in all the challenges of being a father.

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Erwin

May 17, 2022

“You need to portray as a rock to your family.”

Being a dad means a big responsibility, life time commitment and a challenging job. 
Being a dad means a big responsibility, life time commitment and a challenging job. 

We need to be more responsible, matured and motivated to provide for our family’s needs. 

“I was raised by a disciplinarian dad, resulting in a  not-so-good relationship with him growing up. I’ve decided that when time comes I’ll be a dad, I’ll be more approachable, more patient, and more understanding so I’ll develop a closer bond between me and my son. At times, I can still be strict but I try to control my temper before acting on it.”

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Prem

May 17, 2022

MY INHERITORS. This photo reminded me of the day when I became a dad. At the time, I was thrilled to have twin daughters, and to see my flesh and blood in the palm of my hands felt surreal. I couldn’t believe that I could pass on the kinship that I got from my dad to my daughters. Transforming family relations from one generation to another and fulfilling the responsibility of being a dad to my daughters was a blissful process. So I couldn’t be happier being a father.
RESPONSIBILITY TO RAISE THEM.  This photo showed that I was socializing my daughters by visiting different places to make them responsible citizens of a country. After having my lovely twin daughters, I started a new life and formed a family with my wife and daughters. I felt that my roles and responsibilities changed more than ever before, and I focused more of my attention on raising my kids and managing their necessities. Gradually, I started feeling that being a father was a challenge because I had to fulfil the need and will of my loved ones. Leaving my aspirations behind, I provided them love and care how much I could for their betterment and eventually brought happiness to my life. Even though I had ups and downs while managing my family financially, socially, and culturally, my daughter’s prodigious knowledge and outstanding educational achievements made me content.
FULFILLED. In pursuit of fulfilling and prosperous lives for my daughters, I immigrated to Canada with my family in 2013. Initially, I was frustrated being in Canada as I was not receiving positive responses from all walks of life, but the outstanding achievements my daughters achieved in high school erased all my frustrations. I then realized that I took the appropriate decision as a dad for my daughters, providing them with an opportunity to study in a developed country. When they graduated from the University of Calgary with distinction, that gave me a sense of proud being a dad of such great daughters.

Now, I feel we are all equal in education, responsibility, and independent decision-making in our family matters. In conclusion, although the responsibility of fatherhood changes as time passes, I believe the content it provides also varies depending on the situation and eternal love and a sense of belonging tied up both dad and daughters forever.

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Robinson

May 17, 2022

Being a dad is like a road with a continuous journey. My love for my daughter and my family is everlasting whatever circumstances it may be. I enjoy every moment that I spent with my daughter even though we have misunderstandings s sometimes. I always treasure every moment with her and make her mom jealous. And I am very overprotected to her that makes her annoyed.
GIFT OF TIME. Being a father changed my view of being a man because I spent most of the time at work to provide for the needs of my daughter and family as a whole. In addition, I have less time for relaxation for myself and other social activities. I became more selfless to other people, optimistic in my life and responsible for taking care of my family.
CARING FOR FAMILY AND COMMUNITY. My dad was the breadwinner of our family. Despite his line of work, he always found time for us, looking after us just to make sure everything is in order. He helped me to become more responsible. He taught me how to be more involved in the community to serve people when they needed it the most. My biggest challenge is the same with my dad. It is hard for me to find quality time with my family because my schedule at work.

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Santosh

May 17, 2022

IT’S FUN TO BE A FATHER.    I feel very fortunate being a dad. I became very active and vibrant when I became a dad. It’s a very positive environment for me. We share stories and by doing that, we educate each other. This picture was taken on Father’s day. My children are gifts to me.
DASHAIN. Although we have lots of challenges as new immigrants here in Canada, I am still trying to be a very positive and responsible dad. In this picture, I am trying to share our Hindu culture with my older son, especially during our biggest festival called Dashain. I am praying something here while he is listening and copying me. And this is very good, because we need to transfer our cultural values to the next generation.
BY THEIR SIDE. Being a father is like supporting my children to walk in a jungle. Being a dad is being very selfless. Before, when I wasn’t a dad, I didn’t care a lot…  I would drive and drink like I didn’t care but when I became a dad, I changed. Because we have a family, we have kids and we need to support them.
MY LIFE’S LESSON. We need to fulfill their dreams. We need to love them. So those kinds of things make life very positive, proactive and also make our life fruitful. This is my lesson learned…. Although we have lots of challenges in our life, if I wasn’t dad, or didn’t have any children, there would be a huge difference in my social life, in my satisfaction and quality of life.

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Bomlal

May 17, 2022

DAD OF ALL TRAITS. Being a father holds many responsibilities. I try to be positive and spread love and care because my son looks up to me since I am his role model. I play many roles in my kids’ life. Being a father means that I am also a playmate, teacher, friend and confidant to my children. I try to create an environment where my kiddos seek emotional and physical comfort from me in tough times. In my perspective, a father is one of the most significant figures in children’s lives.

I also find it extremely important to encourage my kiddos, which boosts their confidence and helps them reach their next goal. Comparing your child to someone else truly affects them in a negative way, and makes them feel like they are not good enough to be loved or cared for.
MY PRECIOUS GIFT: TIME. In my opinion, being a father changes my view of being a man in many ways! Being a father changes the way I spend my time. I spend more time with my beloved kids, and less time in leisure activities. This includes playing soccer, painting, going on a walk, baking and so much more. This is a picture of my charming kiddos is truly special to me and this shows the importance of meaningful relationship between siblings.
THE LEGACY. From my past, my own father has helped me in being a dad. He was an amazing and motivating dad who inspired me to be who I am today. I am grateful to him for spreading so many positive vibes and displaying a great example of a loving and caring father.

This is a picture of my family in holi. We put different colors on each of our cheeks and foreheads. All of us were trying to give a random and silly pose. I believe that it is extremely important to pass down our culture and traditions to the next generation.

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Arturo

May 17, 2022

I’m a father of four adult children now. I have two grandkids too. For me, fatherhood is also a combination of fatherhood and motherhood. My wife helps me out in parenthood. We promote good healthy living to our children. So we enjoy walking together.

ALWAYS IN THE SHADOW
A shadow only appears when there’s light and vanishes when it’s dark. As a father, you’re not with your children all the time, but you’re like their shadow. To me, fatherhood was partly being in control. But when they grow up, you start feeling the loss of control; they have a life of their own. You just trusted that the way we brought them up, was our way of ensuring that they will live to grow up to be good adults, and good people.
A NURTURING PRESENCE
When your children are young, you would always be there as much as possible, trying to nurture them like a plant. They will grow no matter what, but you want to make sure that they will grow to be beautiful and exhibiting your values.

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If you have any questions or would like further information regarding this project please contact: Dr. Liza Lorenzetti. The University of Calgary Conjoint Faculties Research Ethics Board has approved this research study.